I Was So Wrong...

My Dear Readers,

It is not often that I must humble my self and admit that I was completely and utterly wrong. However, this particular mea culpa is not only necessary, but quite possibly the most important apology I have made in my entire life. Yes, I got it wrong. There you go, I'm printing it here in black and white, I was WRONG. For those of you who read my previous post about Sarah Palin I apologize. I apologize unabashedly, profusely, and continuously. I sincerely regret and heartache ( and headaches) this caused you.

When I poked and prodded the good Governor for not doing interviews and press conferences I spoke out of ignorance. Please forgive me as there was no way that I could have predicted what would follow. Despite all of the coaching, all of the closed door sessions, the rote memorization, the flash cards, and even the tiny computer chip they placed in the back of her neck, Governor Palin still managed to amaze even me in her utter unintelligability (yes I know that is not really a word) when speaking with Katie Couric. As memorable as this interview was (I will spare you the sordid details, but will include a link to the transcript at the bottom for those of you with morbid curiosities) it almost pales in comparison to her wonderfully atrocious debate performance.

Now, I know what you are thinking; many a television pundit said the debate went well for the self-proclaimed "Bulldog with Lipstick". However, despite having expectations set lower then the hot sands of Death Valley, this "Maverick" (by the way where is Goose, Iceman, Cougar, and Merlin?) politician still managed to limbo beneath the mark. To be fair though, it is not her fault. Nobody told her that she was at a Vice Presidential debate and not a Hannah Montana concert...how was she to know that she was not supposed to be giving "shout outs"? I must admit it is difficult to talk about issues like Pakistan and Iran, that pesky curve in the earth makes it almost impossible to see those countries from her porch steps in Alaska. And yes Governor, we'll admit that we forgot that the cheer actually goes "Drill Baby Drill" because we were too busy realizing that big oil got us into this mess in the first place. Ultimately though, all of that is okay though, because when the going gets tough, and you are sitting at the head of the Senate, or (God forbid) in the Oval Office, I am sure that cute little wink of yours will make the all the difference with the likes of Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Hugo Chavez.

So I come before you today my dear readers with my hat in hand, my head hanging low, and my reputation in shambles. For it was I who called on the perky little Governor to speak. It was I who encouraged her to unleash her brilliance on the world. It is I who forever stained the American psyche with the dribble of a small town mayor, a governor, a mother of five, a maverick, a bulldog with lipstick, and a fraud nearly the size of Alaska. Lastly, I must apologize to all of you who (like me) watch Letterman every night to see "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches". Now thanks to Governor Palin the Bushism's of the past no longer amuse me, instead it makes me realize just how smart ol' W is in comparison.