2009 Hope for a New Year

As we roll into 2009 I think it is important for us all to realize that hope is not a strategy. Yes I know it is a catchy campaign phrase. It is great to "Believe in something better", and of course "Yes we can" (whatever that means), but my friends hope is not a strategy. After enduring one of the most tumultuous years in my brief and damaged memory, I look forward to a new year not with hope and expectations, but with a somber and pragmatic viewpoint. Yes we will see a much needed change of leadership (if there was any leadership there at all), it is likely that we will see our role in Iraq be significantly diminished (please don't be confused though, our role in the Middle East will only continue to grow), and we may even see a congress that actually accomplishes something. However, there is little doubt in my mind that 2009 will be a year of tough sledding, filled with trials, scandals, and continued death and destruction.

I know this paints a gloomy picture for those of you who would like to believe that by changing the last digit when you write the date that we will some how suddenly be rescued from the tepid economic situation we find ourselves in, or that on January 20th somehow our society will rise up and once again serve as a beacon of freedom and light in the world. The truth of the matter is that it took us a significant amount of time and work to put ourselves into this rut, and it will certainly take us a great deal of time to dig out. For those of you still looking for that elusive emotion known as hope I offer these five positive predictions:

1. The President will be Presidential Again:

You would think that with less than a month remaining in his term I would give the poor guy a break. Alas, you obviously have not read my blog before. Yes it has been an interested eight years with our boy Dubbya. It is quite possible that ol' Bush may have been the most underestimated President in the history of our country. When he took office we all knew that he was not that bright, but who could have predicted the sheer scale of the calamity that would insue? A multi billion dollar deficit, complete collapse of economy, the highest unemployment rates in decades, and oh yeah I almost forgot the wonderful contributions to foreign policy. Well there is one downside to the upcomming transition: no more "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches".

2. The Senate will Get a Lot Funnier:

Apparantly the further north you go, and the closer you get to Canada, the less in touch with reality the body politic becomes. From the state that brought you Governor Jesse "The Body" Ventura, now emerges the one time comedian and victor of one of the closest senate races in history, Al Franken. Personnally I like Franken, but I can't get over a state that continues to choose leaders based on their tv personas. Now I know that California elected the "Governator", but come on thats California, what do you expect? Minnesota is supposed to exhibit that midwestern common sense and practicality that we are always hearing about. Seriously guys, I think the nine month long winters may finally be getting to you.

3. The Constitution will Come Back In-Vogue:

Our poor little friend the Constitution; never has a document been held in such high esteem and utterly ignored at the same time. Habeous Corpus? What are you talking about? A right to privacy, to face ones accusors, to a trial by a jury of one's peers, to not being tortured, err interogated rigorously, to an attorney, to humane treatment? Yes this poor document has taken a beating over the last few years. It's distant cousin the Geneva Convention also seems to be in a sad state of disrepair. Assuming the President-Elect keeps his word and closes the gates to Gitmo once and for all, we can expect at least some kind of return to the rule of law. What was the aim of the terrorist again? Something about disrupting our way of life and proving that our systems of law and government don't work....hmmm.

4. Sarah Palin will not Go Away:

Now I know that many of you have visions of Governor Palin sitting in her rocking chair on her front porch overlooking Russia. I have some good news for you, the Governor of Alaska a.k.a the punchline that just kept giving is not going away. I predict an ever growing national presence for America's favoriate hockey mom. While a sad statement about the Republican Party and America as a whole, her extended 15 minutes of fame will no doubt lead to more hilarious gaffes and a continued demonstration of her intellectual prowess. Note to self: make sure you know how many countries are in North America prior to running for national office.

5. We will Come to Know World Peace:

Yes thats right, we will come to know world peace in the year 2009. Hey, it's entirely possible. It is also possible that I couldn't come up with 5 positive things that will happen in this new year. Yes, I know I am a cynical old bastard, but hey at least I'm consistant.